Ship in a Bottle.

i want to be naked
and alive
i want you there
constantly with stories about star-shine
lights in hot bars
why can't you hold me anymore?
i don't need you
inside me
darling, i want it but Mae says
to avoid temptation
unless you can't resist it
and Marilyn says
give a girl the right shoes and she can
conquer the world
you're so heavy
you're like the heartbeat of a baby and i can't sleep
through the pounding
it's inside of me
my belly
my twitching cheekbone
swollen lips from biting and bleeding
i remember you swollen
your fingernails digging blood-clot crescents
into my hips
making me yours
lifting my skirt while you shook
never avoiding the temptation
until now when you're leaving
turning your broad back
slinking off into the snowy sunset
taking your dark skin (i've memorized every mark of it)
and turning into dust
and you still laugh but i don't
you're happy and you're drinking
and i sank so low
far below to the bottom of the bottle
stuck in the cracks between the little wooden ship
and the pink sand i collected
at old orchard beach
the sails are torn but i'm grasping to planks
splinters make salty homes in my tongue
and i'm holding on through this
wash of whiskey and windy waters
will you hold my body if you find me
below the grain
in a grave where the fishes sleep?